Nice and long – good
POP-ping your pants
Hold the sausages
Now drink five espressos
Get your message across
But I hate talking to people!
Managing your time effectively
Guh Duh Puh Ruh
It’s closer than you think.
Nod, nod… Wink wink.
Deal with complaints effectively
A load of tat glued together
I think I’m getting dizzy
It’s the pen that’s defective, not me!
He’s literally a customer processing machine!
Oh, no, not you.
Gravity + Complacency = Bad
Taking care of the little things so they can’t come back and bite us later.
We need your precious, fleshy hands and eyes to work without pause, forever.
Human Resource Two is in detention today for chasing a girl with a pooey stick.
DESK BOMB!
Both legs shattered, but don’t worry about it. It’s nothing!
You can control time… and you use it to sell bathroom cleaner??
I am NOT a war criminal!
All that pain is out there waiting for you! So good luck!
Learn how to work as part of a team
But it’s not against the law, technically?
All the thinking has clogged up my brain pipe
I now rule over you all from the fourth floor
Coaching skills for managers
Three against one, you don’t stand a chance
I’ll give him a ‘personal issue’!
I didn’t want a sandwich!!
You think you’ve got problems?!
What are you going to do about it?
Let’s dig over the past
Shut up, I’m a great listener
Improving staff performance
I’m too busy, you know… performing!?
Know your facts
Praise be!
The perfect appraisal interview
Diagnosis Performance
Bury it with all the other projects we don’t talk about
Yes to the action, no to the plan
Leading a project team
What has change ever done for us?
Learn how to manage a project
Managing change
Sales with service
Ten seconds flat. Make mine an egg and cress.
What do you mean by “pointy end”?
I think you’re a dead horse, but Grace wants to keep flogging you.
Keep calm and carry on.
That’s what you said the last two times I told you.
I’m just not hearing you.
Are you saying there’s pork in these pants?
You may as well put up a sign saying ‘no foreigners’!
Mental, isn’t it!
But… it’s just banter!
You think I’m good at maths because I look Chinese?
Taking the guesswork out of recruitment
Taking the guesswork out of recruitment
Taking the guesswork out of recruitment
Don’t you EVER put Science in inverted commas!
We’re gonna need a smoothie transfusion!
If I get my claws into you now, your day is screwed…
Abort Mission!
Children of the 6th Realm! Let the Power guide us!
I think your positive policy may be having a negative effect on us all.
I could do without you today
Managing stress
Distracting Dennis
When wearable office organisers go wrong
The least important person in my life
Like hell I am!